My need for them

My need for the Slave of All-knowing had a lot more to it than just desire and temptation or want. It was a need. A necessity. Like the need for the oxygen that I breathe in. Which should be why I find it hard to breathe now. Because I still need them. Over time I had learned to supress that need.

I prided over having patience. But do I really? I do, I suppose. But they, they are so much more patient than I am. I always thought it was the other way around. I only recently realized that it was a wrong presumption. I know for sure, Alhamdulillah, that Slave of the All-knowing needs me as well. Oh how I miss them! Like I miss no other. A feeling I can barely contain. A feeling filling my insides bursting to be let out. Love. Hear my Slave of the All-knowing- I love you. And those are not words of play or infatuation, I mean them. Love you as I love my family. Even more in some ways. Love you for the sake of Allah. It is a need to even love you like my need for your love.

I wonder if they feel the same way. Could they be missing me the same way? They always were much more mature than me when it came to that. Perhaps it is the difference in our Piousness? If I were a person of stronger Iman, maybe I could understand and accept this as they do-Allah is Sufficient for us. But I am after all an 18 year old passionately in love.

Oh how I love you-Slave of the All-knowing! How I yearn to please you, be with you, have you content, pleased and satisfied with me! Insha Allah.

Allah give me Saboor. Make me one among the Sabireen. Ameen.