I rush into the empty room. I needed to cry. I cried. I wanna see my mom. Umma. My umma. Your love means the world to me. I missed you so much today. Umma. I wish I could see you. Be with you. Hear your voice. Watch you smile. I need you mom.
Had a little shopping trip with my Mother-in-law. I missed my mom there so much. The endless shopping I had with mom. The endless car trips that I went with my family. Long car journeys, that was our speciality. I missed being with my family. The pain was tugging at my insides in the car and I was hurting but nobody knew, except Allah. Allah knows.
The supermarket had a rack lined with catfood. Reminded of me of the times I would insistently take a pack for my cats while my dad or brother protested. Reminded me of my long gone Fliss. My milky should be missing me now.
Him not being with me makes things all the more gloomy. Not hearing from him, well you know what that feels like. But I don't understand why I still don't hear from him enough.
They say everybody has to go through this, at least every girl. Getting married and going away from family. But the fact that every girl has to go through this doesn't make this less painful. Everybody has to go through puberty, that doesn't make it any less difficult. That could be the lamest assurance one can give "Everybody faces it". But Everybody is different. And hence this thing that everybody goes through is varying degrees of painful for each of them. To someone like me, it's a rather higher degree of painful.
This place is full of lizards. It's rather ironic. One of the ways I'm being tested.
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