Setting record

I can hardly believe this. Alhamdulillah, I'm cheerful; happy. I'm barely aware of the silence from their part. How could that be? It used to be a prolonged perpetual ache, my need for them. So how is it possible that I'm not aching now? Maybe because I have put my trust in Allah. Maybe Allah Subhanata'ala is so pleased with their decision that He is making this easy for the both of us. Thankyou Allah. I wonder how it is for them. I wonder if they have the urge to connect with me at all. I wonder if they think about me. As for me, I have no urge to connect with them because it simply isn't happening! I can't disobey them, more importantly I can't break a deliberate oath made to Allah.

But I do miss them. Everytime I think of them, I miss them. And I think of them a lot. And when they speak of them, I miss them more. And I can't take comfort in reading the words they gave me before, because that makes me miss them the baddest.

I can't still possibly be in the same daze. No. This is very real. We could set a huge record! No two people in love would stay unconnected like us when they have a zillion ways to connect right under their nose!

Or even maybe, I'm cheerful today because I spend the day with friends. Friends who were thrilled to see me after SO long! Friends who told me how much they missed me and how much they will miss me. Friends who are super excited about my wedding Insha Allah. Friends who told me I've become pretty and have lost weight. So it's no wonder I'm cheerful today! Not to mention very flattering remarks from my French teacher and class tutor.

So then maybe, this is just like the cycle previously mentioned, if that's case, maybe those achy weepy days are not far away.

But still maybe, they won't come, because this time is different in so many ways and plus insha Allah my brother, wife and our little princess are coming home! So that means insha Allah, our home would liven up with baby cries and nappy stink and my brother's advices and Hadith narration and my sister-in-law's sweet ways- more cheerfulness, insha Allah.

And to think my Slave of the All-knowing is all alone in there. Makes me wanna be with them SO bad! I miss you. I love you.

How jealous it makes me, that so many others can speak to them while I can't! And they can speak to so many others while they can't to me! It's a really annoying thing. Really annoying. Makes me incredibly jealous. I can't wait to have a right over them, insha Allah.