Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah. We did it. Thankyou Allah for giving me the strength! This doesn't hurt. It suprises me. The difference of it being a mutual decision this time? Or that it wasn't sudden and didn't come as a shock? Or maybe the sadness will catch up on me. Maybe I'm in a daze now. Anyway, there are no regrets yet. It is not like I could regret. It was more of their decision than mine. I was merely agreeing, complying, obeying. But it's nice to know we were thinking along the same lines and we were both feeling ashamed and guilty. May Allah Subhanta'la accept our repentance. Ameen.

"I Leave something haraam in the hope that Allah will replace it with something better"

Insha Allah, may it be so. Ameen. They have such a beautiful soul. Allah forbid me from ever having tainted it! Ameen.

I love them even more now.

But this does hurt me. A lot. The thought that I won't hear from them for 33 days. 33 days from today. Do you believe it? How soon days pass by! Wallahi, it's unbelievable. It doesn't seem so long now. Just a little over a month. Will I get through them fine? Insha Allah. Allah be with me. Ameen.

The blackberry was special to me in so many ways. For one, it was a gift from them. My first gift from Slave of the All-Knowing. It is, or was my only source of connecting with them, or rather the source most used and through which I had so many beautiful and intimate conversations with them. My only contact in this phone is them, their number alone. Their pictures occupy most of my album. Wish they had send me some more. I guess it would still remain special to me, even though I can't connect with them using it for 33 days. I would still keep reading through those cherishes words. Taking comfort in them. Missing them.

Miss them already. But thanks to Allah, this is surprisingly easy to bear and contain. So unlike last time or the time before.

This certainly was the right thing to do. Insha Allah, it will please Allah so much! Doing what he loves over what we love. May He grant us khair. Ameen.

I was reading the following article when they messaged me. I was relating those Ayahs and words to my actions. And it only helped me stick to my resolve. Masha Allah, it is so knowledgeable and enlightening.
http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2010/10/04/lowering-the-gaze-to-prevent-desire/